One (un)usual ramble

You see, on a Sunday afternoon, when snowfall from an earlier night is almost melting,

my memories get almost as nostalgic as that of the earlier afternoons,

 where I almost made something beautiful out of my life,

I saw her melting down her emotions.

Now don’t be overexcited, fellow passengers,

you see, her emotions were hers, meaning, not for me.

But I wouldn’t mind, as long as you can see people beyond their outer self,

one can only see through when their emotions are coming through.

It was then I realized how soft she really was.

If you had a long lost cousin’s best friend’s uncle’s brother-in law sick and tired,

she would still get that moisture in between her blinks, she would say, ‘get well soon’.

Now this is not what makes her the princess,

it is her innocence that softly reflects on her face,

and when the settling sun created that aroma of magic in the sky,

she was amazed at that perfection, not realizing the perfection of that reflection on her face,

but she wouldn’t agree.

Fellow passengers, now you see, here’s a problem.

It’s call the problem of recurring cycle.

If you imagine a point where I, as a writer, am stuck between point A and point G,

and somehow I'm propelled back to A again, and again, without an escape point,

you would, perhaps, understand the gravity that my problem exhibits.

Point A, where I carry my luggage of yesteryears, of rejections and apprehensions

Point B, I meet someone new, I am hesitant, conscious, trying hard to dissolve within

Point C, I fall in, I give up, there’s a new magic, I’m mesmerized

Point D, I recoil, I give up the fall, my apprehension wins me again

It’s not smooth a transition from Point D to E,

but somehow I manage to smash through that apprehension.

Point E, dream of reciprocation, I paint billion dollar paintings,

of awesomeness of togetherness,

By the way, alert buyers, I could sell them someday,

for now, you can avail them in silent streets that crosses her place and mine.

Point G. No, wait, there’s a point F in between, 

the point of ‘F’riend-zone, practically the end of this loop, but I often take it a bit further.

Point G, where I’m back with another reinforced version of Gopal, the nicest guy.

And, back to A.

Let’s make that cycle again. And again, and again.

Now you might me wondering why the description of this cycle,

after that fairy tale of the wintry afternoon, well, you guessed it right, 

I’m on the point D, or perhaps, marginally on Point F or even G.

You know what is so unique about this cycle?

 Every time it feels like I am on these points for the first time, 

I start myself tangent to all my previous circles in an entirely different set of realities.

At this juncture of this long piece of writing, let me claim, 

and hear me loud and clear,

it might sound as if I boasting myself here, 

but if ever in any of these points in the cycle had I been committed by the reciprocity of that other being,

I would have silently climbed up the another level of life, 

perhaps a happier one,

that's what I think, at least, I have highest regard for things I think.

Alright, let’s not go off the tangent again. 

Let’s talk about her, if you are still interested.

This one day she told me that she is as unpredictable as the weather here, and perhaps, I would be tired.

I’m not the weatherman, but I know how to keep things happy around me in all kinds of weather,

all you got to do is,

dance when it rains

cuddle up when it gets cold

swim across when it gets hot

and kiss gently when it gets romantic.

For my ever vulnerable, longing and loving life,

everything exhibits an unrequited romantic potential,

as simple as that.

You know what annoys me most?

Couples fighting, when they could just tap into the nature, get close, and be involved,

From the chilly mornings to solitary nights, every atom of the existence demands romance,

now don't confuse romance with mating needs, former is profound version of callous latter.

Fellow passengers, here we have arrived on point E again, the dream of reciprocation,

and you can now get a quick glimpse of what lies beyond the cycle.

For now keep your fingers crossed, 

and let the time unfold the mystery of journey ahead. 

Will keep you posted.