Inequality behind the curtains of Equality

-Gopal Trital

http://gopaltrital.blogspot.com/

20 May 2012
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The term ‘Equality’ is often misinterpreted and diluted to create an illusion of equal treatment being conferred to everyone, by those who are themselves the root cause of inequality, their own discrepancies ignored at times, the biggest error of heedlessness forgiven to establish a policy or a rule to suppress the voices of those who wish to rightly define the term.

When one points out at an error on someone, I think, the finger should first point at the person himself. S/he him/her-self should analyze if these levels of inappropriate miscalculation exists within him/her itself.

It is always easy to make a comment about someone or someone’s behavior. More easy is to ignore that such unwanted behavior lies within me myself. Even much easier is to enact that I am perfect. And, much harder to indicate my own faults.

Policies are passed, rules are circulated and regulations are laid out, by the one sitting in the chairs denoting higher levels, towards those who are at lower levels. There would be points highlighting the need of equality in the system, their importance, the compulsion to abide by the rules and the possible punishment if forbidden. The lower level brains would be ordered /commanded, at times, forced, to follow each and every characters of such regulations. Funny, the same rules, regulations and policies rarely affect their own unequal treatment and behavior towards their juniors. And, funnier, they themselves complain that they are the major victims of unequal system.

People often ask me as to why I write dimmer words without using the name or position of actual character being talked about. I answer back, ‘we still lack democracy in this system, we still lack real equality and most importantly, none of my seniors could accept that they were wrong at some point of the time that they thought there were right. The last reason, I lack that gut.”

This is not just about the system where I’m witnessing these practices right now, this is about everything - Employment, the reservation system, political system and the current scenario in my own country Nepal.

“When the employment is being talked about, Organizations should rather appoint best person at the best position, based on the talent, knowledge, attitude and interest; not just on the basis of race or sex.


Equality should be in everything, for all employees irrespective of work levels, including how an action is being taken against or an appreciation is conferred; not just on the basis of position he or she holds.

Equality should rather be reflected in real actions instead of being highlighted just on so-called policies.”

I am against discrimination on the basis of race, sex and work levels. I think the priority of employment should be conferred to those who are more competent, and most importantly who have positive attitude towards the employment they hold. I must say, I feel terribly bad, shocked and helpless, to see those who have complains, zero-interest and negative vibes towards the employment they hold, at the cost of those who deserve it the most. Organizations who announce the vacancy on leading newspapers print the desired skill sets with an expectation that the said person after being hired serves the organization with the best of his/her knowledge; but it lacks that thermometer to measure the level of innocence, dedication and attitude an employee would be able to bestow to the workplace. People might argue that these are measured in an interview session, but I strongly disagree. Even the interview sessions are mostly, often, arranged only for those who qualify the race-sex-tribe requirement. When an organization finds itself in a downsizing scenario where its staffs are to be cut-off; the policies shout at those who belong to so-called higher caste and male; but not on the basis of how competent the employee actually is. Why? Because, such policies state, “Gender equality, racial equality”.

This doesn’t mean that I’m advocating against the capability of female employees, neither am I against any particular race nor I’m in favor of my own caste. The point is, priority for employment must only be on the basis of competency and attitude, not on anything else.

I am against reservation system, be it of whatsoever kind. Know me, test me and rate me on how well I am on my strength or how bad I am on my weakness, but not on how I look, what language I speak, what religion I follow and what level of employment I hold. Examine my thoughts, attitude, capabilities, competency, experiences and qualification not my color, race or sex.

My own country Nepal, currently, is suffering from a series of indefinite strikes in almost every corners of the nation. Demands are contradictory, infinite and without alternatives. As the Constitution promulgation date, May 27, is approaching people from various political parties are carrying out rallies, protests and are seen in a movement with a self-acclaimed mission to safeguard societal equal treatment. Communities are strongly raising voice that they are to be given equal rights, their identity be preserved and their demands be met. There is not just one single community with these demands. Strangely, no any community seems interested to safeguard the rights of another community.

Equality- they all demand, everyone. But why do not they understand that they are themselves initiating the change that would later lead to unequal societal structure. When Tharu cadres enforce their strikes and torch vehicles, why do they forget that their own vehicles were torched by some other political party at the same place, demanding equality? Both are demanding equal treatment, yet, no one wants to realize that they complement each other.

Well, I don’t want to write much about the political system. People say, I’m a little immature to write about that.

However, I cannot turn blind towards my own surroundings, and hence, through blogs, I feel more comfortable to speak up. To communicate and throw out my thoughts.

My intention is not to complain, but to unfold the curtain that is leveled “Equal” in bold letters, dogma that hides the inequality within itself.

Watch out for an error within yourself, before pointing out to anyone else, please!

'Satyamev Jayate' - "Social workers' dream come true"..

Gopal Trital

http://gopaltrital.blogspot.com/

I remember when we were doing this campaign Save "Birateshwor Old Age Home", we were finding it too difficult to spread our message, to save Birateshwor old age home in Biratnagar of Nepal. Our request was genuine. We were not selfish in our motives, we were trying to convey the message of all those elders who were soon losing their place of stay, we were awaiting words of support and response from the society that we all belong to. But, no one would listen to it, or, even if they listened they used to pass on either a pessimistic or a satirical comment.

I used to get frustrated to see so called Nepalese or International celebrities (who had huge fan followings in FB or in Twitter) posting unworthy, useless shits and statuses and subsequently liked by thousands of their fans. I used to wish if only if they could share something about our message too or at least something for society besides sharing their "mindless" poems, jokes and daily routines.


Leave the listening part, just to share our message on FB, we found it too hard. My own friends found it much easier to share cheap jokes, than to share our message. Too hard to work for society.


Yesterday, I was so happy to see Aamir doing what I call is a "social worker's dream come true'. I don't care even if he charges crores to host that show, or whatever the economics is; as long as it ignites a social change, all is well! We have this habit that we only listen to when it plays on big speakers; and so be it.

Among celebrities, who would risk their career doing a non-entertaining show like that, but he did, at least for that, he deserves the accolade.

And to those who question the credibility of the show or the actor himself; my question to skeptics, can you do it? It's always easy to hide behind the cocoon and blame the system, but it needs guts to speak up or at least to support someone who is doing something better for society.

I am not an Indian. I don't belong to Indian Society. But, I think all societies throughout the world are interconnected. Nepalese society is no different from Indian society in terms of issues and problems. We can learn a lot from their problems and solutions; and from a show like this.

Someone has truly said, Aamir's Satyamev Jayate has created more buzz and awareness in 90 minutes than UN had created through all their "glamorous" programs all these years.

Hats off!


Satyamev Jayate You Tube Channel

Happy Labour's day!

Do we have any differences in how we define employees, staffs, workers and labours? I think we all are same; in spite of how we work, where we work and how much we earn.

Certain attributes of employement are always common in whatever category of workforce you belong to.

There always happens to be a BOSS. His primarly responsibility is only to pass rules and laws that uses every usable pieces of employee for Organizational benefit. 90 percent of such BOSSES are crooked, in a sense that they are less interested to address issues of employees and more interested to calculate the amount of interest they earn out of their own savings. They are the CPU of this robotic system that understands no any human feelings.

Then, in almost every organization there are middle-men; not necessarily - men but could be fe-men too; but the term middle-men as they adhere to their bosses like Dogs adhere to their Gods. They are highly sincere, obedient and truthful not towards their responsibilities but in serving the BOSSES. They are highly skilled workforce; in the sense that they are skilled enough to make their BOSSES happy. Chakadi and Chaplushi are their genuine qualities.

Then, in almost every organization there are Labour-organizations-whose-names play loud songs of appraisal for staffers. They boast of being the one who would solve almost every issues pertaining to a labour. Unfortunately, almost all such organizations serve politicians or BOSSES themselves or the middle-men. They are powerful enough to call strikes and bring the organization to a permanent halt; not for the benefit of labours but for their own advantage.

And, finally, there are people like us; some of who are decorated in White-collars, others in sweats, others with mental disorders coz of high work pressures, and rest suffering from gastrointestinal diseases coz of low pay that could hardly support their families amidst the excessive price hike.

We are the one who are kept highly motivated by BOSSES, middle-men and labour organizations. Highly motivated? Yes: at least Organization thinks so.

We are the one who celebreate May day every year with hopes that we gonna be cared, and our voice gonna be heard. I wish May 1 to snatch those ear plugs off from the concerned ears..

After all it's a May day today, time for another Lecture session from some politicians or a leader from lagour-organization.

May day comes, May day goes... who cares... at least Bosses don't.

Happy Labour day! Congratulations for being befooled, yet again.

मेरी आमा ।

आज मातातिर्थ औंशी, आमाको मुख हेर्ने दिन ।



आमा । यो शब्द आफैंमा कति स्वर्गीय छ, आमा मात्रै भन्दा पनि मनको सबै बह रित्तिन थाल्छ, आमा शब्दमा कति धेरै दैविकता छ, सबै दुखः भुलाई दिने, आँशु पुछिदिने, न्यानो काखमा संसार भरिको झमेलाबाट टाढा एउटा छुट्टै लोक हुन्छ ।  आमा ।


जीवन दिने आमा, अनेकौ कस्टबाट जोगाएर हुर्काउने आमा, आफु भोकै बसेर भएनी आफ्नो सन्तानको पेट भर्ने आमा, निस्वार्थ, प्रेममयी, कोमल, भावुक, शब्दनै पुग्दैन आमाको व्याख्या गर्न ।



मेरी आमा ।


मेरी आमालाई सबैले मेरो 'हजुरआमा' भन्थे l सबैको जस्तै मेरो पनि आफ्नै छुट्टै पारिवारिक कथा छ, र म त्यो कथाबाट उम्किन खोज्या पात्र हुँ । मेरो कथा समयको त्यहि भुमरीमा हराओस, यहि कामना छ ।


जन्म दिने भन्दा, जीवन दिने ठुलो हुन्छ । मेरो जीवन दिने मेरी हजुरआमा नै मेरी आमा हुनुहुन्थियो र सदा हुनुहुनेछ । आमा, मेरी प्यारी आमा ।


मातातिर्थ औंशी; मलाई अझै सम्झना छ, म सानो हुदाको सम्झना । उ बेला मेरी आमाको सबै भन्दा मन पर्ने कुरा भन्या चुरोट थियो । दिनको १ बट्टा त सक्नै पर्ने । त्यति बेला म आफैलाई पनि चुरोटले वहाँलाई नराम्रो गर्छ भन्ने थाहा थिएन । आमालाई सबै भन्दा मन पर्ने कुरो भाकोले, म पनि दिदि र काका संग पैसा मागेर भएनी, मातातिर्थऔंशी आउनु २-३ दिन अगावै १ बट्टा चुरोट को जोहो गर्थियें । अनि मातातिर्थ औंशीको दिनमा, दिदि काका सबैले मिष्ठान्न भोजनको व्यवस्था गरे पनि, म भने त्यो १ बट्टा चुरोटको surprise गिफ्ट लिएर आमाको गालामा मोई खान्थें । मैले त्यो १ बट्टा चुरोट दिएको देख्दा मेरी आमा कति धेरै खुसि हुनुहुन्थियो । सायद त्यो मिष्ठान्न भोजन भन्दा मेरो त्यो १ बट्टा चुरोट वहाँलाई धेरै मिठो लग्थियो, प्यारो लग्थियो । मेरी आमा ।


म school जाँदा सबै भन्दा धेरै खुशी मेरी आमाको मुहारमा झल्किन्थियो । हरेक बिहान मलाई चिटिक्क बनाइ, कपाल कोरिदिन्दै भन्नुहुन्थियो, "बाबु राम्ररी पढ ल, तैले whole first हुनु पर्छ है" । मेरी आमाको लागि whole first कुनै नोबेल prize भन्दा कम थिएन, मेरो लागि पनि उ बेलाको सबै भन्दा ठुलो लक्ष्य थियो whole first हुनु, हालाकि whole first हुनु केलाई भनिन्छ मलाई प्रस्ट रुपमा थाहा थिएन । म र मेरी आमाको लागि school भरि सबै भन्दा धेरै नम्बर ल्याउने सपना नै थियो - whole first हुनु भनेको ।


मेरी आमाले हरेक बिहानी दिने त्यो आशिषले मलाई राम्ररी पढ्नु पर्छ, नराम्रो काम गर्नु हुदैन भन्ने कुराको मार्गनिर्देशन गर्थियो । म मेरी आमा को त्यो सपना पुरा गर्न धेरै मेहिनतले पढ़थियें । म Class 6 सम्म हरेक class मा first हुँदा मेरी आमा संसार को सबै भन्दा खुशी मान्छे बन्नुहुन्थियो ।

School मा पाउने सर-मिसको स्याबासी भन्दा मेरी आमा को त्यो खुशी मेरो लागि सबै भन्दा ठुलो prize हुन्थियो । अनि म हरेक बर्ष अझै धेरै मेहिनत गरेर पढ़थियें । मेरी आमा ।


एक ताका सानोम खै के भएर exam भन्दा अगाडी मलाई admit card नहुँदा सरले फिर्ता पठाउनु भयो । मेरो school घर नजिकै थियो, म आत्तिदै आमा कहाँ पुगें, अनि आमा मेरो कुरा सुन्ने बित्तिकै हस्यांग फस्यांग गर्दै school तिर दगुर्नु भयो र school ko principal लाई राम्रै संग दगर्नु भयो । अनि principal को के हिम्मत मलाई exam बाट बन्चित गर्ने l मैले exam दिएँ अनि फेरी प्रथम भएँ, मेरी आमा धेरै खुसि हुनु भयो ।




 समय बित्दै गए, आमाको त्यो चुरोट खाने बानि पनि छुट्यो । मातातिर्थ औंशीमा दिने उपहारपनि क्रमसै बदलिदै गयो । १ बट्टा चुरोट उपहार दिने त्यो क्रम बिस्तारै diebetes को ट्याब्लेट हुँदै Insulin सम्म पुग्यो । जीवनको कति हर्ष, रोदन, उकाली, ओराली भरि सधै एउटा हात शिरमै हुन्थियो। अरुहरुलाई दुखः पोख्न शब्दको आवस्यकता पर्थियो, आमाले त केहि नभनिकनै हृदयको स्पन्दन बुझ्नुहुन्थियो; आँखा हेर्दा मात्रै पनि नया जीवनको अनुभूति हुन्थियो । मेरी आमा ।


कुनै बेला मेरी आमा blood pressure ले बेहोश हुँदा, म पूजा कोठामा गएर भगवानलाई प्रार्थना गरिरहंथियें, अरुहरु ले यो कुरा बुझ्दैन थिए । रुघा लाघ्दा मेरी आमा हरेक चोटी ३ दिनसम्म सिकिस्तै जोरो आएर ओछ्यानमा लड्नुहुन्थियो, म भने छेवैमा उदाश मुहारलिएर बस्थियें, प्रार्थना गर्दै, भित्रभित्रै रुन्थियें, आमालाई केहि भैहाल्छ कि भन्ने मलाई धेरै डर हुन्थियो । मेरी आमा ।



टोल भरिका मान्छे डराउने हक्की स्वभाबकी मेरी आमाको रुप diebetes ले क्रमस वहालाई कम्जोर बनाउदै लग्यो । मैले bank मा जागिर पाउंदा मेरी आमा संसारको सबै भन्दा गर्वान्वित र खुशी मान्छे हुनुहुन्थियो । सायद हाँस्यास्पद लाग्न सक्छ, मैले मेरो पहिलो salary ले आमालाई १ महिना पुग्ने झोला भरि को ५-६ थरि Diebetes को औषधि ल्याइदिएको थिएँ । त्यो औषधि कति दिन त हरेक पाहुना, भेला र छिमेकमा पुग्थियो, "हेर मलाई मेरो गोपालले ल्याइदिएको औषधि" भन्दै खुशी ले गदगद मेरी आमा त्यो औषधि कति दिन सम्म राख्नु हुन्थियो, नाखाइकन ।


मायाले मात्रै पनि सबै रोगहरु निको हुने भए सायद मेरी आमा निकी हुनुहुन्थियो होला तर Diebetes ले मायाको भाषा बुझ्दैन रहेछ । आमा क्रमश कम्जोर हुनाथाल्नु भयो । औषधिको मात्रा बढ्दै गयो, अनेक थरि औषधि हुँदै Insulin सम्मको त्यो यात्रा, कति कस्टकरथियो मेरी आमाका लागि ।


नारी विकाशको ससक्त कार्यकर्ता, हक्की स्वभाब, निडर, सबै जना बोल्न सम्म पनि डराउने र नेता जस्तै मेरी आमालाई Diebetes को complications ले जीवनको अन्तिम वर्षमा बालक झैँ बनायो । म हरेक रात रुन्थें, प्रार्थना गर्थें र आमालाई त्यो हालतमा देख्दा म मर्माहित हुन्थियें; लग्थियो म कति असक्त र शक्तिहिन छु आफ्नै आमाको लागि नि केहि गर्न सकिन । तर म doctor थिइन, Diebetes लाई हराउन सक्ने म संग केहि हतियार थिएन, तर त्यहि Diebetes ले क्रमस मेरी आमालाई म संग टाढा पार्दैथियो ।


बालक झैँ व्यवहार गर्ने वहाको त्यो समयमा पनि मेरी आमाले मलाई धेरै माया गर्नु हुन्थियो । म हरेक दिन Bank बाट थकित घर फर्किंदा, मेरी आमाले "बाबु आइस" भन्दा सबै थकान दुर हुन्थियो ।
मेरी आमाको कोमल र निर्दोष आँखामा म कहिँ पनि नपाउने माया र आशिस पाउथियें । म प्रार्थना भन्दा धेरै केहि गर्न सक्दिन थिएँ । अहिले जस्तो म संग अलि अलि पैसा पनि हुदैन थियो उहाको ठुलो उपचार गर्न । दिदिले आमाको हरेक उपचार गर्नु भयो, तर पनि diebetes कम्जोर भएन, उल्टै आमा झन् झन् थला पर्नु भयो ।


गोपाल, "म मर्ने बेलामा तँलाई यहि नाउ ले बोलाउछु, अनि स्वर्ग जान पाउँला भनेर मैले तेरो नाउ गोपाल राखेको" ...मलाई मेरी आमाले सानो हुँदा भन्नुभाथियो ।


आमा सिकिस्तै बिरामी हुनुभयो, ICU म बेहोश मेरी आमा चाडै निको हुनुहोश भनेर म रुँदै रुँदै नजिकैको रामजानकी मन्दिर मा प्रार्थना गर्न गएँ । कहिँ कतै बाट जवाफ आएन, प्रार्थना सुनिदिने पनि कोहि थिएन, भगवान पनि आमा जस्तो कहाँ हुनेरहेछन र । भगवान भनिने त्यो मूर्तिले पनि पाप, कर्म खै के के हो के के को विश्लेषण गरेपछि मात्रै प्रार्थना सुन्छन् रे, मेरी आमा त मेरो सबै कुरा बुझ्नु हुन्थियो । मैले जे जस्तो काम गरेपनि वहाको माया कहिले कम हुदैन थियो, वहांको आशिस सँधै म संग हुन्थियो । तर भगवान आमा जस्तो कहाँ हुन्छन् र । भगवान त ब्यापारी हुन्, पाप, कर्म र पुजाको हिसाब किताब राख्ने ब्यापारी ।



निको हुने कुनै आशा नदेखेर अस्पतालले आमालाई घरैमा लग्न सल्लाह दियो । बेहोश मेरी आमालाई घरमै लग्यौं l आमालाई निकोहुन जे जस्तो गर्न पनि तयार हामी, अन्तिम आशा, दशदान गरेपछि पो सन्चो हुनुहुन्छ कि भनेर काका र म समान किन्न बजार गयौं ।



आमा । आउदा आउदै बाटैमा आमा स्वर्गबाश भएको थाहा पाएँ । बिश्वास गरिन । मलाई गोपाल भनेर बोलाउनु भाकै छैन कहाँ जानुहुन्छ र । मेरो अन्तिम आश, आमाको त्यो निर्जीव शरीरलाई सुम्सुमौदा पनि मेरो आशा जिवितै थियो । म रुन सकिन । मेरा वरिपरी सबै जना डाँको छोडेर रोइ-कराईरहेका थिए, तर म रुन सकिन । मलाई त अझै बिश्वास नै भाको थिएन । वास्तिबिकताले विस्तारै बोध गराउदै लग्यो तर पनि म रुन सकिन । धेरै बेर सम्म आमा को हत्केला सुम्सुमाई बसें । "आमा, उठ्नुहोश न" भन्न मनलाग्यो तर बोलि फुटेन । आमाको हत्केला नै सुम्सुमाई बसें । त्यहि औंला समाएर हिड्न सिकेकोथियें, त्यहि औंला आज निर्जीव झैं भएको थियो । आमाको मुहार उस्तै थियो, उठिहाल्नुहुन्छ कि झैँ लग्थियो । सपना भएपनि हुन्थियो यो भनेर पनि सोचें तर वास्तविक जीवन नै रहेछ । मेरी आमा बिउझनु भएन । मैले उठाउन सकिन । म रुन सकिन ।



विस्तारै दिनढल्दै गयो । आमालाई लिएर हामी घाट तिर लाग्यौं । अलि अलि झिनो आश, "गोपाल भनेर बोलाउछु है" भन्ने मेरी आमाको त्यो शब्द; म प्रार्थना गरिरहें भगवान संग मनमनै । आमाको त्यो ओछ्यानको एकभाग बोकी हिडिरहेको थिएँ त्यहि जुलुस संगै । कहाँ जना लागेको होला, मेरी आमा फर्केर फेरी आउने आशा क्रमश निराशामा परिणत हुँदै थियो ।



उता सुर्यास्त भयो, यता मेरी आमाको त्यो चिता बाट आगोको झिल्काहरु आकास छुन खोजिरहेका थिए । यस्तो लाग्छ कि मानौं मेरी आमा त्यहि झिल्को संगै आकससागर तिर लम्कदै हुनुहुन्थियो, मलाई छाडेर । मैले आमालाई बचाउन सकिन, उठाउन सकिन, रुन पनि सकिन ।



मेरो शिरमा वहाँको हात थिएन; जीवनको exam बाट कसैले बाहिर निकालिदिएमा दगुर्दै दुखः पोख्ने आमा रहनुभएन; अनि मेरो समस्या सुनिदिने, बुझिदिने र आशिस दिने आमा लाई छाडेर म त्यहि जुलुस संगै रित्तो फर्किएँ ।



आमा बिनाको यो जीवन, सार्हैनै एक्लो हुँदो रहेछ । साथी, आफन्त र वरिपरीका मान्छे रुप बदलि रहन्छन; उनीहरुका लागि मलाई बुझ्न धेरै गार्हो छ । आजकल जब म थकित भएर कोठा फर्कन्छु, म अरु कसैलाई हैन, केहि हैन, मेरो आमालाई मात्रै miss गर्छु । हरेक रात सपनीमा आमा आउनुहुन्छ; सपनी कति रमाइलो लाग्छ, तर उठ्दा आमाको त्यो दृश्यदेख्ने आँखामा आँशुमात्रै रहेको हुन्छ ।



त्यो दिन त म रुन सकेको थियिना, शायद त्यो दिन रोएको भए वहालाई भुल्न अलि सजिलो हुन्थियो होला तर त्यो दिनको भित्रि रोदनको आँशु हरेकदिन मेरो आँखामा बतासिंछ ।



आज मातातिर्थ औंशी, म संग त मेरी आमा हृदयमा नै हुनुहुन्छ; तर पनि अरु छोराछोरीले जस्तै समाउने मेरी आमाको औंला छैन, मेरो आँखाहेरेरै सबै दुखः हर्ने त्यो आँखा छैन । कहिले कहीं मलाई रिश उठ्छ मलाई छोडेर चाडै गएकोमा, कहिले कहीं संसारका स्वार्थी मान्छे हरुको व्यवहार देख्दा आमालाई बोलाउन मनलाग्छ तर हृदयमा बसेकी मेरी आमा मौन नै रहनुहुन्छ । म संग केहि छैन आज मेरी आमालाई दिन सक्ने उपहार । केहि बाँकि रहेन सम्झना बाहेक ।



हृदयमा बसेकी मेरी आमा बाहेक मेरा अरु कोइ आमा छैनन्, म आमालाइ जत्तिकै अरुलाई माया गर्न सक्दिन, तेसैले आजको दिन म अरु कसैलाई पनि आमाको रुपमा माया गर्न सक्दिन ।मेरी आमा, मेरो एकमात्रै आमा, अरु कोइ आमा हुन सक्दैन, मेरी आमा ।

आमा भनि बोलाउछु

शुन्यता मात्रै बाँकि रहन्छ

आँशु पुछ्ने हत्केलाका

औंला समाई दगुर्न खोज्छु

आजपनि आश लागिरहन्छ

आमा फेरी आउनेछिन कि भनि

यो कठोर वास्तविकतालाई पनि

अलमलाईरहन्छु

आमा भनि बोलाइरहन्छु , आमा ।

Ten minutes - Self-Assignment!

Ten minutes. What can I write in Ten minutes.

On contrary to a popular belief that we can't develop our creative skills while working busy in the office, this is a self-assignment that I have assigned to myself to write something, whatever, in 10 minutes of self-created free time.

Ten minutes; out of which around 1 minute has already been wasted; seems quite less time to descibe about my feelings. I won't be able to explain about my friends, relatives or anyone around.

While I am writing this, I am also listening to a FM Radio by my side which is playing loud with news from politics. Constitution; (or a khichidi ?)- by Political parties; protests and descrepancies.

The other day I asked an old woman of my grandma's age, who waits for me to have a dinner everyday at her small shop besides my office, if she has any idea if our constitution would be made on time; she replied, "who cares". Same was the reply from her young daughter.

I questioned to myself, if it makes any difference to me, the answer was yes, but I couldn't convince them about how important consitution is even for them. I gave a try. I tried explaining them about how the price of everything would hike up if consititution is not drafted and if there happens to be an instability in a country, but that didn't help coz they had a strong point to defend.

"My son fought for Maoist with a dream to do something for the country, they showed us hopes, gave us confidence until they tagged my son as disqualified. Now, we have no hopes from leaders who are just good in giving lectures."

Two minutes left to 10 minutes; I'm trying to type my words as fast as I can, but still, Iwon't be able to portray the feeling of that old woman. Her son was depressed, always talks about suicide. He spent his golden age  to fight for Maoist, was deprived of education coz of war, doesn't have any employment now; and everyday when I pay 100 Rs. for my dinner, it still is insufficient for this family to feed their four members.

I don't have enough time now, 'm approaching the self-assigned deadline; that's a good excuse for me, for I don't have more words to write about the pain that this old woman hides behind her smile. It's not about time, it's not if I want to write, I can't write.

End of 10 minutes!



Same old woman who I call Aama - who runs a small food shop besides my office



Time off from Facebook!

I reiterate,

Everything buzzes around; people, friends, fake friends, named friends, relatives, colleagues, known strangers, complete strangers; even in Facebook. Their laughter, sadness, complains, cries, pain creates a loud, too loud, noise. Wherever I go, follows this noise. I ignore my malady, my inability to fix the practicalities of my life, when I’m one of the sounds in this noise.

And then, every evening when I get back to my room; noise stops, silence brings out the real person in me; to question my steps and actions. I find no words to answer the question within me. Silence echoes back.

Noise continues. – FB Post: 15 April 2012

For few months now, I wish to be away from this noise. I will not be posting anything on my facebook, except my blog posts that will be shared from my blog site.

However, I won’t be deactivating my Facebook; I will be ON at my blog; and whatever I need to write, whatever picuture I need to post; or whatever creative stuffs I wish to try at, I will share it all on my blogspot.

Deactivation of Facebook is not necessary for me; for that’s the only window from where world hears my voice; but yes, no more status updates or posts in Facebook.

For everyone with intense curiosity as to why such a weird decision had to be taken, I want to give some free sky to my creative skills including my written work. I have realized that most of my time in facebook is spent for either chatting or checking others’ stuffs, funny pictures, unnecessary jokes and people’s perceptions. More than a platform to learn about people, it has gradually been a subject of addiction.

This does not necessarily mean that my facebook friends or groups are writing or sharing a waste; many of their posts inspire, motivate and have helped me to learn. I regularly check updates from few of my facebook friends who are really good in their skills; and their perceptions towards the surrounding are quite motivating.

However, my own writing skill has degraded over the time. I have one of those minds that easily get influenced; and I can’t excel when my influenced mind starts comparing my own creation with others’ work. Over the time, this may prove to be a wrong step taken; but this is how I feel I can do better. I love to think differently and have my own point of view which is being overtaken by the views and thoughts of others.

This is not a retirement from Facebook, and that’s the reason why I’m not deactivating it. I’m just giving myself some time off from this loud noise, to regain the power I had.

Facebook – I will be back soon.

Sayonara!

In and between Lumbini ... 10-11 April 2012