You see, on a Sunday afternoon, when snowfall from an earlier
night is almost melting,
my memories get almost as nostalgic as that of the
earlier afternoons,
where I almost made
something beautiful out of my life,
I saw her melting down her emotions.
Now don’t be overexcited, fellow passengers,
you see, her emotions were hers, meaning, not for me.
But I wouldn’t mind, as long as you can see people beyond
their outer self,
one can only see through when their emotions are coming
through.
It was then I realized how soft she really was.
If you had a long lost cousin’s best friend’s uncle’s
brother-in law sick and tired,
she would still get that moisture in between her blinks, she
would say, ‘get well soon’.
Now this is not what makes her the princess,
it is her innocence that softly reflects on her face,
and when the settling sun created that aroma of magic in the
sky,
she was amazed at that perfection, not realizing the
perfection of that reflection on her face,
but she wouldn’t agree.
Fellow passengers, now you see, here’s a problem.
It’s call the problem of recurring cycle.
If you imagine a point where I, as a writer, am stuck
between point A and point G,
and somehow I'm propelled back to A again, and again, without an escape point,
you would, perhaps, understand the gravity that my problem exhibits.
Point A, where I carry my luggage of yesteryears, of
rejections and apprehensions
Point B, I meet someone new, I am hesitant, conscious,
trying hard to dissolve within
Point C, I fall in, I give up, there’s a new magic, I’m
mesmerized
Point D, I recoil, I give up the fall, my apprehension wins
me again
It’s not smooth a transition from Point D to E,
but somehow I manage to smash through that apprehension.
Point E, dream of reciprocation, I paint billion dollar
paintings,
of awesomeness of togetherness,
By the way, alert buyers, I could sell them someday,
for now, you can avail them in silent streets that crosses
her place and mine.
Point G. No, wait, there’s a point F in between,
the point of ‘F’riend-zone, practically the end of this loop, but I often take
it a bit further.
Point G, where I’m back with another reinforced
version of Gopal, the nicest guy.
And, back to A.
Let’s make that cycle again. And again, and again.
Now you might me wondering why the description of this cycle,
after that fairy tale of the wintry afternoon, well, you guessed it right,
I’m
on the point D, or perhaps, marginally on Point F or even G.
You know what is so unique about this cycle?
Every time it feels like I am on these points for the first time,
I start
myself tangent to all my previous circles in an entirely different set of
realities.
At this juncture of this long piece of writing, let me
claim,
and hear me loud and clear,
it might sound as if I boasting myself here,
but if
ever in any of these points in the cycle had I been committed by the reciprocity of that
other being,
I would have silently climbed up the another level of life,
perhaps a happier one,
that's what I think, at least, I have highest regard for things I think.
Alright, let’s not go off the tangent again.
Let’s talk
about her, if you are still interested.
This one day she told me that she is as unpredictable as the
weather here, and perhaps, I would be tired.
I’m not the weatherman, but I know how to keep things happy
around me in all kinds of weather,
all you got to do is,
dance when it rains
cuddle up when it gets cold
swim across when it gets hot
and kiss gently when it gets romantic.
For my ever vulnerable, longing and loving life,
everything exhibits an unrequited romantic potential,
as simple as that.
You know what annoys me most?
Couples fighting, when they could just tap into the nature, get close, and be involved,
From the chilly mornings to solitary nights, every atom of the existence demands romance,
now don't confuse romance with mating needs, former is profound version of callous latter.
Fellow passengers, here we have arrived on point E again,
the dream of reciprocation,
and you can now get a quick glimpse of what lies beyond the cycle.
For now keep your fingers crossed,
and let the time unfold the mystery of journey ahead.
Will keep you posted.
