तिम्रो र मेरो कथाको एउटा सानो अंश

सायद संसारमा तिमी नभएको भए, अहिलेको यो मेरो समय उजाड हुनेथियो होला,
वा सायद जे हुनेथियो त्यो त अवस्य नै हुनेथियो,
खुशी, दुख वा यी दुवै ध्रुवीय भावधाराको मिश्रित अवस्था,
आखिर जे जस्तो जे जति भएनी मान्छेलाई पुग्ने नै कहाँ थियो र !

तर वर्तमानमा तिम्रो आँखामा डुबुल्की मार्दै गरेका मेरा कलिला सपना,
अनि, तिम्रो हृदयको न्यानो आत्मियता,
म खुशी छु,
सायद मेरो जीवनकै सर्वोच्च खुशीको शिखर यो क्षण,
मैले सबैथोक पाइसकें झैं लाग्छ,
मैले थेग्न सक्ने भन्दा बढ्ता

कस्तो अचम्म,
संसारमा अरबौं मान्छे छन्, अनि अरबौं आँखाका अरबौं सपना
तर मात्र तिम्रो आँखाले मेरो यथार्थ बुझेको छ,
तेसैले होला, आजकल म एक्लो छैन, न नै त निराश
यो वर्तमान त्यसैले पनि त प्रिय छ,
'के सोचिरा' तिमी भन्छौ,
'छैन, केहि नि' म भन्छु'
तर पनि तिमी सब बुझ्छौ,

सायद, प्रेमलाई प्राप्ति संग नतौलिने,
कृष्ण र राधाको प्राप्ति-बिहिन आत्मिय जीवनको,
म कृष्ण त हैन, न नै त तिमी राधा,
तर मेरा हरेक अव्यक्त भाव बुझ्ने,
अनि मेरा झर्दै-सुकेका आँशुमा जीवन रस घोलिदिने,
तिमी मेरो सबै भन्दा प्यारो सहयात्री,
अनि, म एउटा सारथी, मात्र मेरो जिवन को l
अनि यो वर्तमान,
तिम्रो र मेरो कथाको एउटा सानो अंश,
अनि क्रमस टाढिदै गरको हाम्रो गन्तब्यको
एउटा साझा बिन्दु 

A man steps into a beach
No, not guided by the beauty of the waves
A dark tragedy hits his nerves everyday
And now, he seeks an answer from the unknown
He doubts for the power hidden in caves

Highs and lows of his life are not the cause
He affirms, dwells and inquires; to solve
Optimism, inspiration and self-motivation, and courage
All he has, all that he has earned through these years
Yet, there’s a fact, he could not change
He walks with it; but he wants to live
And not just breathe

There, along the thin line that defines horizon
He wonders, expects and dreams; of someone
Someone to hold a lamp of miracle,
God, may be an angel or Sages blessed;
A paradox, he hates God, angel and their existence
For he has learnt, n seen, n felt, there’s no creator
Or else why a deaf ear for a millions’ pain?
He argues, debates and confirms, no it’s absurd
And then, he contradicts, he wants to be healed
He still dreams of lamp and its bearer

The man, now rises, and walks again
Still gazing at that thin line of horizon
To feel alive, and live again.
No, the man ain't me
He is someone I witness everyday
Sitting on the beach
He smiles at me
He wonders, n inquires
And, in silence,
Disappears.

Gopal Trital
10 March'13

One Happy Poem

So this one day, I composed a happy poem

that sounded like a sad story the next day,

of how the steps are closer, yet away.

Every evening he settles before the sun,

he wears a mask and walks silently

looks at the mirror, and says that is me,

says, all I have to do is accept him,

and keep moving on with this self,

and think of loneliness as peace of mind.

I try sometimes to teach him about the world,

of love, companionship and also relationships,

of how magical it could be,

to be in a fairytale dream.

He puts on a conceited smile,

‘as if it would ever exist for you’.

So this one day, I composed a happy poem,

of how he should admit that even I can be loved.

So the next day, I went out to a park, to paint that dream,

where we stood and walked through the shades of red.

She smiled compassion, bliss, and charm that would heal my pain,

yet she wore drops of tears, sadness and nostalgic tunes of broken days.

‘You deserve happiness’, my eyes screamed at her silently,

and through her to the person I could see on the reflection.

Of late, I walked back home, to see him wear that smug face again,

‘did that exist for you’, he knows I’m already been down.

I didn’t have nothing, except for the questions I’d gather all along.

Every evening he settles again before the sun,

he wears a mask and walks silently

looks at the mirror, and says that is me,

says, all I have to do is accept him,

and keep moving on with this self,

and think of loneliness as peace of mind.

Now I wear his face, and he wears mine.

I meet him sometimes at corners where they exhibit the fairytale dream,

‘It doesn’t exist for you’ he pulls her back yet again,

and knocks me into the tram that reads

“From nowhere to nowhere”, ‘have a safe journey ahead.’

One (un)usual ramble

You see, on a Sunday afternoon, when snowfall from an earlier night is almost melting,

my memories get almost as nostalgic as that of the earlier afternoons,

 where I almost made something beautiful out of my life,

I saw her melting down her emotions.

Now don’t be overexcited, fellow passengers,

you see, her emotions were hers, meaning, not for me.

But I wouldn’t mind, as long as you can see people beyond their outer self,

one can only see through when their emotions are coming through.

It was then I realized how soft she really was.

If you had a long lost cousin’s best friend’s uncle’s brother-in law sick and tired,

she would still get that moisture in between her blinks, she would say, ‘get well soon’.

Now this is not what makes her the princess,

it is her innocence that softly reflects on her face,

and when the settling sun created that aroma of magic in the sky,

she was amazed at that perfection, not realizing the perfection of that reflection on her face,

but she wouldn’t agree.

Fellow passengers, now you see, here’s a problem.

It’s call the problem of recurring cycle.

If you imagine a point where I, as a writer, am stuck between point A and point G,

and somehow I'm propelled back to A again, and again, without an escape point,

you would, perhaps, understand the gravity that my problem exhibits.

Point A, where I carry my luggage of yesteryears, of rejections and apprehensions

Point B, I meet someone new, I am hesitant, conscious, trying hard to dissolve within

Point C, I fall in, I give up, there’s a new magic, I’m mesmerized

Point D, I recoil, I give up the fall, my apprehension wins me again

It’s not smooth a transition from Point D to E,

but somehow I manage to smash through that apprehension.

Point E, dream of reciprocation, I paint billion dollar paintings,

of awesomeness of togetherness,

By the way, alert buyers, I could sell them someday,

for now, you can avail them in silent streets that crosses her place and mine.

Point G. No, wait, there’s a point F in between, 

the point of ‘F’riend-zone, practically the end of this loop, but I often take it a bit further.

Point G, where I’m back with another reinforced version of Gopal, the nicest guy.

And, back to A.

Let’s make that cycle again. And again, and again.

Now you might me wondering why the description of this cycle,

after that fairy tale of the wintry afternoon, well, you guessed it right, 

I’m on the point D, or perhaps, marginally on Point F or even G.

You know what is so unique about this cycle?

 Every time it feels like I am on these points for the first time, 

I start myself tangent to all my previous circles in an entirely different set of realities.

At this juncture of this long piece of writing, let me claim, 

and hear me loud and clear,

it might sound as if I boasting myself here, 

but if ever in any of these points in the cycle had I been committed by the reciprocity of that other being,

I would have silently climbed up the another level of life, 

perhaps a happier one,

that's what I think, at least, I have highest regard for things I think.

Alright, let’s not go off the tangent again. 

Let’s talk about her, if you are still interested.

This one day she told me that she is as unpredictable as the weather here, and perhaps, I would be tired.

I’m not the weatherman, but I know how to keep things happy around me in all kinds of weather,

all you got to do is,

dance when it rains

cuddle up when it gets cold

swim across when it gets hot

and kiss gently when it gets romantic.

For my ever vulnerable, longing and loving life,

everything exhibits an unrequited romantic potential,

as simple as that.

You know what annoys me most?

Couples fighting, when they could just tap into the nature, get close, and be involved,

From the chilly mornings to solitary nights, every atom of the existence demands romance,

now don't confuse romance with mating needs, former is profound version of callous latter.

Fellow passengers, here we have arrived on point E again, the dream of reciprocation,

and you can now get a quick glimpse of what lies beyond the cycle.

For now keep your fingers crossed, 

and let the time unfold the mystery of journey ahead. 

Will keep you posted.

Photographs from Development Photography Workshop Exhibition 2016

The Story of a Fortune Teller

Everyday at the premises of Pashupatinath Temple in Kathmandu of Nepal, a number of Fortune Tellers would be awaiting to read your lines; lines that supposedly describes your destiny and fortune.

This is a Photo-Story about a daily routine of one of those Fortune Tellers.

Presented and Photographed by
Gopal Trital and Aishwarya Rani Singh
July of 2016.

मिलन र बिछोडका सुस्केरा l

1

साइँली,

नौ डाँडा पारी सपनै सपना छ रे 

इन्द्रेणी रंग भर्न पाइन्छ रे
आकाशको तारा झैं झिलिमिली
खुशी नै खुशी छ रे
जाम न साइँली हामी पनि बसम 
तेही डाँडा पारीको चौतारीमा
अनि संगै नाचम्ला सारंगीको भाकामा
तिमी थाके म काँध दिम्ला
म थाके तिमी साथ
जाम है ?

2

अलिकति शब्द म भर्छु

अलिकति आवाज तिमि भर 

अलिकति जीवन संगै जिउँला

अलिकतिको यो जीवनमा l

उड्दै भेट्दै फेरि उड्दै छुट्टिने

यो अचम्मको जीवन न हो

अलिकति मुस्कान म हाँस्छु 

अलिकति खित्का तिमी हाँस

अलिकति आँसु संगै झारौंला

अलिकतिको जीवनमा l

हिमाल पारी तिम्रो गाउँ होला

यो नदि वारीको केहि क्ष्रणको राउटे म बनम्ला

अलिकति साथ म दिन्छु

अलिकति हात तिमी थाम

अलिकति आकाश एउटै हेरौंला

अलिकतिको यो जीवनमा l

आज छुट्टिए के भयो र 

भोलि फेरि संगै बाँचौन्ला नी 

अलिकति आशा तिमि बुन 

अलिकति सपना म बुनम्ला

अलिकति बिछोड तिमि हाँस

अलिकति मिलन म कोरम्ला 

अलिकतिको यो जीवनमा l

अलिकति जीवन संगै बिताम्ला l

3

आज निन्द्रा पर्या छैन l 

शब्द नि फुर्या छैन l
केहि सोच्या नि छैन l
सोच्न सक्या नि छैन l

लाग्छ ठुलो संसारको एउटा सानो कुनामा
म आफुले आफ़ुलाईनै हेरिराछु
छक्क परेर l

न त दिमागमा केहि छ
न नै त मनमा
मात्र पल्लो त्यो घरमा
कुक्कुर भुक्या भुकेइ छ एक्कोहोरो
झ्याल नेरी जुनकिरी किरमिर किरमिर गरेजस्तै 

एउटा स्वाश भित्र तान्यो
अर्को फेर बाहिर
अन्धकार सहरलाई एकटक नियाल्नु परेको शालिक झैं
म अकस्मात लाटो बन्या छु
बोलौं त के बोलौं,
को संग l

अझै निन्द्रा पर्या छैन आज l

4

प्राय जसो म एकटक कम्पुटर इस्क्रिन मैं टोलाऊँछु 

केहि नसोची एकटक 

एउटा तस्बिर 

अनि अर्को हाँसो 

केहि पर्खाई

अनि केहि चोट 

अहिलेको लागि एति नै हो मेरो जिन्दगीको मधुर रोमान्स 

मन भुल्याउने बाटो l

5

म ब्युझनु भन्दा ठिक अघि 
उनले मलाई सोधिन 
"सपना पारीको को यो अर्ध-सत्य राम्रो 
कि सपना वारी को त्यो पूर्ण बास्तविकता ? "

जवाफ दिनै नपाई म ब्युझेछु,
अब खै कुन चैं लाई सपनामा भनुँ
र कुन चैं लाई विपना
दुवै संसार जिउञ्जेल उति नै वास्तविक छन्
मात्र यति हो,
 संसारका धेरै नियमहरु छन्,
र संसारमा सायद भौतिकताको मात्र जित हुन्छ,
सायद हामीलाई यो असत्य सत्य लाग्छ
तर आखिर, के नै फरक पर्छ र,
चेतनशील मनका यी प्रतिबिम्बहरु पनि
कति सत्य छन्, कसलाई नै थाहा छ र !
र खै कुन चैं लाई सपना भन्ने
र कुन चैं लाई बिपना

यति मात्र बुझ
खोलाको बिचमा, किनारमा हैन, मात्र हामी छौँ
मात्र "हामी"
र किनारा-बिहिन यो खोला सत्य-असत्य जे भएनी
मात्र तिमी-र-म को यो समागम सत्य छ
हो मात्र "हामी" सत्य छौँ
र मात्र त्यहि सत्य राम्रो छ

6

निलो आकाश, इन्द्रेणी, अग्ला हिमाल, जंगल, उडिरहेका चरा-चुरुंगी, 

रंगी-विरंगी फुल, अनि सिमसिमे पानि मा भिज्दै हिंडेका बटुवाका अन्जान मुस्कान
अनि अरु धेरै कुरा हरु,
राम्रा देखिन्छन, धेरै नै राम्रा l
मात्र जब तिम्रो ओठमा मुस्कान रसाउँछ l

तिमी हाँसे संसारै राम्रो
रिसाए संसारै उदासिन l